What Am I, Exactly?

I preached my first public sermon this past Saturday. It was fairly well received, all things considered. As I hit the high points of my message, a number of “Amen”s and similar grunts of affirmation could be heard from the crowd. I say “crowd”, but “small gathering” would probably be closer the mark. There were only a few people in attendance, with several others within shouting distance. I did have to raise my voice a bit, as I was preaching outside, in a park.

A friend of my previous pastor has sometimes preached in parks. I’m not sure about why he and his wife were removed from the church staff. I know they have started a few businesses, mostly of the “pyramid” type. I don’t know whether that had anything to do with it. My wife and I had just started attending a class they were presenting, having to do with leading small groups. The next thing we knew, they were gone—apparently “invited” to leave by his “friend” the pastor. Odd, that.

But I digress.

I had a conversation with a celebrity of sorts recently. He is known to be an atheist, or “areligious”, as he calls it. Someone who knows me from another setting mentioned to me that he (the celebrity, that is) is an “unbeliever” and asked me what I thought of it. I felt a bit odd. The celebrity, whom I am not naming on purpose, has made clear that he considers “religious people” closed-minded and that their ideas of a created universe and intimacy with its Creator are absurdly self-centered. Being from Europe, he finds it ironic that, while many European countries actually have governments that collude with state-sponsored religions, Europeans as a group tend to regard religious belief as personal. This, while Americans, whose Constitution claims to separate church from state, tend to politicize religion and to invite religious debate into the public square. I felt odd because, while I certainly believe that the celebrity shall go to hell unless he acknowledges the sovereignty of God, I simultaneously agree with him about the irony of American religiosity.

As we had been having a spirited conversation about the directions in which technology seems to be heading, the celebrity now scoffed, “Am I to understand that you are one of these Christians?” No, I replied. A Christian is one who imitates Jesus Christ. My behavior is so far from His that I really don’t deserve that designation. “But you are religious,” he pressed. Again, I demurred. I don’t consider myself religious, I replied.

The celebrity confessed to feeling a bit confused. “You believe that Jesus Christ is God, right?” I confessed that I do. “So, you’re a Christian. Christianity is a religion, right?” I disagreed. That depends on how you define religion, I said.

The word “religion” is from Middle French. It means “the act or process of tying back together what has become detached”. “Reconnecting” to one’s “roots”, for example, could be called “religion”. People striving to establish a connection to the Almighty through observation of rituals or other means could be called religion. Even “getting in touch with” one’s “inner child” could be called religion. However, Christianity is not a matter of Man trying to restore his relationship with God. Rather, it is one of God trying to restore His relationship to Man.

Christian faith does not depend on any particular belief system or ritual behavior. Magic is not a part of it. It is purely a matter of accepting that which God has already done to restore His relationship with His creation. “God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believed on Him would not perish but inherit everlasting life.” Nowhere in that narrative does Man do anything to restore his relationship to God. Man’s role is completely passive, whereas God’s role is completely active.

So, if I’m not a Christian, and I’m not religious, what exactly am I? Good question. When I have a good answer for you, I’ll post it.

Ever since I preached that sermon, I’ve been troubled by an assertive spirit. Or, perhaps I should say “an assertive Spirit”. I am fully aware of Who the Spirit is who won’t leave me alone. He says that, now that I have preached in public, I must maintain a consistent witness so that “my public” will not receive a “mixed message”.

What have I gotten myself into? Before, I readily confessed that I am an asshole. Unwitting and unintentional, but an asshole nonetheless. Now, I have to actively strive to behave above my base tendency. I’ve always believed that doing so would be phony or inauthentic. I’ve always believed that only a hypocrite would pretend to be better than he is. God says it’s not pretending if you’re truly trying to turn over a new leaf.

I have decided that this process of collaborative sanctification will ultimately result in my becoming a Christian. However, I have also decided that even then I will not be religious. After all, my relationship with God is already established in that He has entered my being and has taken up residence in my soul. My Christosis is less a matter of my striving to become more like Christ than it is one of His Spirit striving within me to transform me into His likeness.